This is a wonderfully edited piece that shows a linear translation of the plane crash. It's every angle of Oceanic 815's demise, and it's really interesting to see all these things together, when you think about the fact that we only saw pieces of these at a time.
Special Thanks to Bret W. for passing this along.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
LOST University
In the spirit of nurturing my denial of LOST's 8-month hiatus, we'll take some time here to think about what it would be like to go to college with the cast of LOST.
(Cue cheesy montage of characters doing typical college things, like eating pizza, cramming for a test or "just hangin' out" -- all to the tune of some upbeat generic alt. rock tune)
The "I'm Gonna Be Famous. Seriously" Kid: Charlie Pace. There was always that guy who had a band, and he made sure he told you roughly 8-10 times a week about his MySpace page and/or an upcoming coffee house concert: "It's gonna be really chill. Just me, a bar stool and an acoustic guitar -- covering John Mayer, all night long!" (The anger I'm displaying right now is a defense mechanism for the ultimate sadness I feel over Charlie's death)
The Insecure Rebel: Sawyer. That guy who had to do really insane things to cover some lifelong scar obtained in childhood. Often heard uttering the phrase, "Yeah, I'll drink that."
The Stoner: Hurley. Smoking pot makes you want to eat snacks, and maybe play the lottery.
Token Sorority Babe Who May Or May Not End Up On Girls Gone Wild: Shannon. Be honest, there are some girls who were molded from early age to fit the sorority girl archetype. Usually they have some faux coming-of-age moment around junior year where they realize that they're not good people, which lasts until that day's happy hour. You can only hope they don't make out with their pseudo-half-brother in a moment of confusion. Again, I say, ewwwww.
Token Frat Lord: Boone. His name is Boone. That goes well on the back of a t-shirt and can be chanted easily during a keg stand.
Professor Who Totally Freaks You Out, But Might be a Genius: John Locke. "I don't want to believe that the answers to my questions lie in a Native American sweat lodge. But maybe Professor Locke is right."
Dean of Crazy: Benjamin Linus. My name is Benjamin Linus, and I was born in the quad.
Quiet Exchange Student: Sun. An obvious choice, I know.
Child Prodigy: Walt. Remember that kid in college who was like 8 years younger than everybody, but could project his image to remote locations, summon and kill birds with his mind and warn old men not to "push the button"? There's always one.
Chemistry Professor: Arzt. That's a cheat, since his character was really a chemistry teacher. Not like my chemistry teacher in high school. Dick Caster was the Chuck Norris of Lincoln Southeast High School. He was a football coach who I'm fairly certain killed bears with his hands on the weekends.
Mascot: Vincent. LOST University, Home of the Fightin' Vincents! Another cheat, as he's the only notable non-human on the show. Unless you count Ben Linus.
University Founder: Jacob. A man whose mythology grows with each incoming class. And one night the kids get a little sauced, stumble into a haunted campus building and swear that if you look real hard you can see his ghost. Nobody believes, until shit gets crazy.
Girl Whose Boyfriend Constantly Obsesses Over Her, Despite her Attending a Different College: Penny. "Hey, Desmond, you wanna go to the bars tonight?" "I can't! Penny's calling! I haven't talked to her since noon! I'll catch ya on another night, brutha."
Guy Who Lives in That Dorm You Never Go Into: Mikhail "Patchy" Bakunin. What's he doin' in there? Why does he wear that eye patch? I'll say it if no one else will, I think he's up to something.
That Guy Nobody Likes: Paulo. Enough said.
Honorable Mention: Michael.
Thus concludes our lecture on LOST U. I hope you took notes, there will be a test.
Namaste,
Charlie.
(Cue cheesy montage of characters doing typical college things, like eating pizza, cramming for a test or "just hangin' out" -- all to the tune of some upbeat generic alt. rock tune)
The "I'm Gonna Be Famous. Seriously" Kid: Charlie Pace. There was always that guy who had a band, and he made sure he told you roughly 8-10 times a week about his MySpace page and/or an upcoming coffee house concert: "It's gonna be really chill. Just me, a bar stool and an acoustic guitar -- covering John Mayer, all night long!" (The anger I'm displaying right now is a defense mechanism for the ultimate sadness I feel over Charlie's death)
The Insecure Rebel: Sawyer. That guy who had to do really insane things to cover some lifelong scar obtained in childhood. Often heard uttering the phrase, "Yeah, I'll drink that."
The Stoner: Hurley. Smoking pot makes you want to eat snacks, and maybe play the lottery.
Token Sorority Babe Who May Or May Not End Up On Girls Gone Wild: Shannon. Be honest, there are some girls who were molded from early age to fit the sorority girl archetype. Usually they have some faux coming-of-age moment around junior year where they realize that they're not good people, which lasts until that day's happy hour. You can only hope they don't make out with their pseudo-half-brother in a moment of confusion. Again, I say, ewwwww.
Token Frat Lord: Boone. His name is Boone. That goes well on the back of a t-shirt and can be chanted easily during a keg stand.
Professor Who Totally Freaks You Out, But Might be a Genius: John Locke. "I don't want to believe that the answers to my questions lie in a Native American sweat lodge. But maybe Professor Locke is right."
Dean of Crazy: Benjamin Linus. My name is Benjamin Linus, and I was born in the quad.
Quiet Exchange Student: Sun. An obvious choice, I know.
Child Prodigy: Walt. Remember that kid in college who was like 8 years younger than everybody, but could project his image to remote locations, summon and kill birds with his mind and warn old men not to "push the button"? There's always one.
Chemistry Professor: Arzt. That's a cheat, since his character was really a chemistry teacher. Not like my chemistry teacher in high school. Dick Caster was the Chuck Norris of Lincoln Southeast High School. He was a football coach who I'm fairly certain killed bears with his hands on the weekends.
Mascot: Vincent. LOST University, Home of the Fightin' Vincents! Another cheat, as he's the only notable non-human on the show. Unless you count Ben Linus.
University Founder: Jacob. A man whose mythology grows with each incoming class. And one night the kids get a little sauced, stumble into a haunted campus building and swear that if you look real hard you can see his ghost. Nobody believes, until shit gets crazy.
Girl Whose Boyfriend Constantly Obsesses Over Her, Despite her Attending a Different College: Penny. "Hey, Desmond, you wanna go to the bars tonight?" "I can't! Penny's calling! I haven't talked to her since noon! I'll catch ya on another night, brutha."
Guy Who Lives in That Dorm You Never Go Into: Mikhail "Patchy" Bakunin. What's he doin' in there? Why does he wear that eye patch? I'll say it if no one else will, I think he's up to something.
That Guy Nobody Likes: Paulo. Enough said.
Honorable Mention: Michael.
Thus concludes our lecture on LOST U. I hope you took notes, there will be a test.
Namaste,
Charlie.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
When they were children...
Today, I will examine the favorite television shows of select LOST characters when they were children. Did their television show selection shape their future? Do you see parallels between these 30 minute episodes and future experiences on and off the island?
Kate – She-Ra
Kate was inspired by the strength and power of She-ra: Princess of Power.
Sawyer – Salute Your Shorts
Sawyer loved the practical jokes and pranks played by the kids at Camp Anawana.
Penny – Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
Penny felt obligated to solve the greatest mystery: where WAS Carmen Sandiego? (Side note: In writing this blog, I think I figured out where Carmen has been this whole time: San Diego. How did I miss that? And why hasn't she been caught yet?)
Jin – Inspector Gadget
I don't know why Jin liked the intelligent Inspctor Gadget...it just made sense at the time.
Juliet – Reading Rainbow
In preparation for her future book clubs, Juliet got ideas from Lavar Burton and Reading Rainbow.
Rousseau – 3-2-1 Contact!
The science experiments on 3-2-1 Contact! prepared Rousseau for a life where science couldn't explain everything.
Jacob - Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood
The idyllic world of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood gave Jacob hope for the future.
Libby – Rainbow Bright
A great show. Hands down. And Libby was smart to watch it.
Sayid – Chip n’ Dale Rescue Rangers
The Rescue Rangers strike again! Sayid wanted to be a chipmunk and solve crimes, too.
Mikhail – Pee-Wee’s Playhouse
Creepy. That's all that needs to be said.
Charlie – Alvin and the Chipmunks
You know...brothers who sing together and are short. It makes sense.
Ben – Rugrats
I think Ben looks like a Rugrat.
Jack – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Turtles in a half-shell. Turtle Power! Jack loved these guys.
Locke – Bill Nye the Science Guy
Locke wanted to learn everything Bill Nye knew...and use it in his own twisted life.
Hurley – ALF!
Hahahahahahahah. Hahahahaha.
Claire – Zoobilee Zoo
A weird show, just like Claire.
Boone – Power Rangers
Boone wanted to be a Power Ranger. We all know he had no chance.
Shannon – Clarissa Explains it All
Shannon is basically Clarissa. Duh.
Kate – She-Ra
Kate was inspired by the strength and power of She-ra: Princess of Power.
Sawyer – Salute Your Shorts
Sawyer loved the practical jokes and pranks played by the kids at Camp Anawana.
Penny – Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?
Penny felt obligated to solve the greatest mystery: where WAS Carmen Sandiego? (Side note: In writing this blog, I think I figured out where Carmen has been this whole time: San Diego. How did I miss that? And why hasn't she been caught yet?)
Jin – Inspector Gadget
I don't know why Jin liked the intelligent Inspctor Gadget...it just made sense at the time.
Juliet – Reading Rainbow
In preparation for her future book clubs, Juliet got ideas from Lavar Burton and Reading Rainbow.
Rousseau – 3-2-1 Contact!
The science experiments on 3-2-1 Contact! prepared Rousseau for a life where science couldn't explain everything.
Jacob - Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood
The idyllic world of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood gave Jacob hope for the future.
Libby – Rainbow Bright
A great show. Hands down. And Libby was smart to watch it.
Sayid – Chip n’ Dale Rescue Rangers
The Rescue Rangers strike again! Sayid wanted to be a chipmunk and solve crimes, too.
Mikhail – Pee-Wee’s Playhouse
Creepy. That's all that needs to be said.
Charlie – Alvin and the Chipmunks
You know...brothers who sing together and are short. It makes sense.
Ben – Rugrats
I think Ben looks like a Rugrat.
Jack – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Turtles in a half-shell. Turtle Power! Jack loved these guys.
Locke – Bill Nye the Science Guy
Locke wanted to learn everything Bill Nye knew...and use it in his own twisted life.
Hurley – ALF!
Hahahahahahahah. Hahahahaha.
Claire – Zoobilee Zoo
A weird show, just like Claire.
Boone – Power Rangers
Boone wanted to be a Power Ranger. We all know he had no chance.
Shannon – Clarissa Explains it All
Shannon is basically Clarissa. Duh.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Lostocracy
What if LOST were it's own government?
Part I of However Many We Feel Like in our "LOST in Society" series.Today we'll examine what happened if the LOSTies staged a coup (on the island, or perhaps off of it in an attempt to give Jack something to do other than drink, abuse pain pills and somehow find it more productive to use maps rather than Google Earth to find his sacred island) to form their own government.
President/King/Czar: Jack Shephard. As if there was any doubt. Even if someone else tried to be president, Jack would talk them out of it. Of course, halfway through his term he would stage an internal battle of conscience over the burden of leadership.
First Lady: Kate. Hottest. First. Lady. Ever. And 10 years after Jack's done being president she can sweep in and polarize the country ("We can't vote for an ex-con!" "But she's so hot!").
Homewrecking Intern: Juliet. This saucy minx is one black felt beret short of being the Island's Lewinsky. At least she's attractive.
Supreme Court Chief Justice: Ben Linus. Sorry, I had to give him a job for fear that if I didn't he'd haunt my dreams.
Vice President: Jin. A bit of a shocker, but from what I can tell of politics, the Vice President is supposed to be a blind supporter of everything the president does, and Jin is that. He seems to trust Jack when nobody else will. Also, like our current VP, he's killed before, and he'll kill again.
Secretary of Agriculture: Sun. Partly because she's always tending her little island garden, partly because her namesake is the giver of life to all plants and vegetation on earth and partly because I thought it fitting that the most boring character on the show be given the most boring job in the government. Yawn.
Secretary of Defense: Sayid. I know some will balk at the idea of putting an Iraqi in charge of our war-time efforts. But seriously, Sayid makes Chuck Norris look like Tobey Maguire. And he's never wrong.
Secretary of Labor: Bernard. Remember when he tried to make everyone construct that giant SOS signal? Oh, Bernard, if you're wife wasn't such a good character you would've been killed off long ago. You are not rambo, you are a dentist. And a Secretary of Labor.
Secretary of Transportation/General Hilariousness: Hurley. Gotta give it to the bus-driving , wise-cracking maniac here. I imagine the real Secretary of Transportation (Mary E. Peters) is a real crack-up in those cabinet meetings - just a guess.
Secretary of Education: Sawyer. He's well-read and he can teach the children about how to turn obscure, dated pop-culture references into clever nicknames. No Smart Ass Left Behind.
Secretary of Bat Shit Craziness: Rousseau. Every government needs a loony hanging around. Clinton had his brother Roger, Bush has Cheney and the Losties have Rousseau. She's crazier than all of my ex-girlfriends combined, and that's saying something.
Under-Secretary of Bat Shit Craziness: Alex. Awww, mother-daughter psychotic behavior.
Token Benedict Arnold: Michael. "No, seriously. The Others wanted to talk to you guys. No, I don't know what it's regarding." Bastard.
Token Rasputin: Desmond. A worthy clairvoyant confidant for the Shephard administration. And little known fact: Desmond and Rasputin share the same chest hair pattern.
Token John Locke: John Locke. Please, like any government could hold John Locke. And no mere cabinet post could contain him. He'll just sit there, biding his time, plotting when/how/where/with what knife he'll defeat Jack.
And there you have it: The Lostocracy. As always, your thoughts, contributions and gushing praise are welcome. Just comment below.
Clinging to the days when LOST was on every week,
.charlie.
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